


When The Angel Falls

by itzBCJ2518



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, Other, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker is a Mess, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Precious Morgan Stark (Marvel Cinematic Universe), Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-12 23:16:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29517279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itzBCJ2518/pseuds/itzBCJ2518
Summary: When Peter Parker figures out that a soul for a soul can go more ways than one-Peter Parker has been depressed. Let's face it, Tony's death has made him much worse than how he usually is. So when he figures out how to bring him back, is he going to tell anyone? No, because this is Peter Parker we're talking about.After deciding that he needs to get Morgan her father back, he only starts to feel worse, until it's too late for those around him to save him.
Relationships: Gamora & Natasha Romanov, Gamora & Tony Stark, Happy Hogan & Peter Parker, May Parker (Spider-Man) & Pepper Potts, Natasha Romanov & Tony Stark, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Morgan Stark (Marvel Cinematic Universe), Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Tony Stark & Avengers Team
Comments: 2
Kudos: 35
Collections: Irondad_and_Spideyson





	1. When

**Author's Note:**

> idk im a mess, i hope you like this story.

Time was irrelevant.

It took many things from Peter Parker. His innocence. His purity. His immunity to evil. His uncle. His parents. And soon, Time would send Death to take Peter and May themselves.

Peter Parker hates Time. He hates Death. And he hates Love. Call him depressing, but it was true. He hated them. Despises them.

And Time took five years from him. From Ned and May. And Happy. And MJ. And even Flash, who didn't care what Time did to Peter. Time took five years from everyone and left others to mourn and forget and wish others were still there.

So yeah, Time is irrelevant to Peter.

And so is life.

Really.

After Mr.Stark died, his third father figure, and he thought he gained a fourth? Taken from him, lied to. Three aspects make up his life: Time, Death, and Love. All of which he despises.

He didn't always hate them. Fell in love with MJ, broke up when they both realized they were gay. Didn't hate Love until Love broke him- fucking Wade. Death was just death- happened to everyone. Didn't really hate it until it took Uncle Ben and his parents from him... now Tony. And Time- five years? Uncle? Parents? Time was a part of it all. So he didn't really hate time until it all happened too.

So, no, Peter hasn't always been this way.

Cold demeanor, Flash fears him, and MJ and Ned are scared.

Scared of who he's become.

When? When has always been an aspect in his life. "' When am I going to grow up, Mom? Get a car, and live like you and Dad- happy?' "

His mother never knew how to answer. Until her death day.

She knew HYDRA was coming for her and Richard. So she answered him with, "Honey, I don't know. All I know is I love you and will do my best to be there every step of the way."

May and Ben knew. They knew Mary and Richard were going to die. But lying to their son before they did to find closure? That was too much.

That night, on the news, it showed the flight had crashed. Peter wouldn't leave his room.

" 'Uncle Ben? Why'd they leave me?' " He cried for weeks.

Then Uncle Ben died a few years later. He left too. But this time, Peter was strong for May. He had to be. He listened, and was kind, and didn't get into arguments- maybe then would Time, Death and Love would leave him be.

Met Tony, fought with Tony, loved Tony. Lost Tony.

"Would it kill you to call me Tony?"

"Kid, those were swimming goggles."

"Fury tried to call you!? Stay far away from him."

"Because I care, kid. I want to be there for you, too."

"... ki-"

Lost Tony, and he felt like another piece of his heart was ripped out.

So yeah, Time is irrelevant.

Death is irrelevant.

And sure, he loves May, but he tries not to show it so she doesn't leave him too.

Yes, he is scared. But who wouldn't be after a life like that?

So when? When is irrelevant. Life is irrelevant. So is Love, Time, and Death because "fuck that, I want my fucking life back."

That's why he cuts.

And that's why he's in a coma.

He can feel them, and can't reach out.

He's lost himself too much.

Gone too far.

Bleeding through everything doctors put on him.

So weak, his healing isn't even working.

When is irrelevant.

He doesn't forget that.

/////////////////

Maybe he's just weak. Or that's how he thinks. Maybe that's why he couldn't save that baby from the fire. Or that mother from being raped. Or that elderly man from being mugged and killed in an abandoned garage.

He thinks he's weak. "Maybe if you were stronger, Tony would still be alive."

He breaks again and again.

And even when Beck is dead, he still remembers. And even if people trust him, he still doesn't trust himself. He's scared...

But not of death. And not of Death. And not of Time. And not of Love.

Because they're irrelevant.

So now he's walking down the street a plan in his mind. He has exactly 3 days to complete.

And When...

When he does it, he hopes no one will remember him.


	2. The Angel

Peter Parker was an Angel. He was kind, compassionate, always happy, and always pure.

No matter what life took from him, he'd always be okay. But on the first day of planning his suicide, MJ was realizing something. Peter had been too happy as of recently. As if he's trying to cover something up. And the hoodies and weakness were getting really weird. So when she saw him at school, she'd try to talk, and get him to open up- removing her cold demeanor.

"Hey, loser."

Peter jerked as if something had scared him. But, that's not possible, right? His spider-sense would've realized MJ was there.

"Hey, Emmie."

"Is everything alright? You've been really jumpy and tired. You don't seem okay."

"I'm fine!" No, he wasn't. That overly peppy voice was a dead give away.

In Peter's head, he too, realized something was suspicious. MJ was piecing things together, but she wasn't all the way there yet. Usually, she'd observe, then confront, but this time, she didn't observe long enough.

The bell rung.

Saved by the bell. 

////////////////

"NED!!" MJ ran through the halls to get to him. They both had a free period during this time- Peter was in AP Chem. 

"What's up, MJ? You don't usually come to me??" Ned clearly noticed too, that something was really wrong with Peter. He'd notice the hoodie paws and the quite clear bloodstains on the thighs of his jeans. He was worried. But, he knew that if it became too much- Peter would go to him.

He always did. He's gone through depression before, and they would always go to each other. But this time was different. He was starting to avoid them more. 

"Is something wrong with Peter? You've been noticing he's been acting... well, weird right? Weirder than usual?"

"Now that you say it..."

////////////////

MEANWHILE

Peter skipped class. He ran and he jumped over the back fence of the school. He didn't care, he just needed relief, and cutting in the school bathroom was not going to cut it.

The voices of every one were just berating his skull, telling him awful things.

"You were never good enough."

"I told you to have a responsibility, to do what others can't, and this is what you do?!"

"I'm dead because of you."

"You're a horrible nephew."

"You're a horrible friend."

"You're just an orphan, Penis."

"I wanted you to be better."

And they kept going and going and they just wouldn't stop!! They wouldn't stop and it was driving him crazy. So yes, he went home, to the apartment, took a knife, went to the roof, and relieved himself. And he cut over and over again until you couldn't tell what was skin and what wasn't.

And the best part- He loved every second of it.

And if this set his plan in motion a bit too early, 

Then so be it.

He pulled out the letters from his closet and put them on his desk. He went downstairs and took four bottles of sleeping pills he bought a while back. He grabbed a bottle of whiskey that May hid when Tony died, and he went back to his room.

Blood kept falling and it was falling fast, so he needed to hurry.

He downed 5 pills at a time, with the whiskey because, it would be a lot harder without it.

He laid himself down. Look at the clock.

4:58 PM.

And he slept.

////////////////

May loved her job. She loved her nephew, and she loved her husband. But then her husband died, and all she had was her nephew. So when she heard he was being bullied by some rich prat, she reached out to Tony. 

Tony has been there for him since he turned 14. Not because of Spider-Man. Well, maybe a little. But also because he wanted to be there. Saw him as a son.

And then he died too.

She mourned for her husband, and then she mourned for a father figure of her nephew.

So when she hears Peter cry at night, she thinks it's because he's still not over Tony's death- not that he will be any time soon, but it's good to start somewhere.

She doesn't think he hates himself.

So she gets home from work, after a long day. Peter went to school, she fed him before she left. Everything was good.

Until she went and called Peter's name. He would've answered.

She checked his room

And dropped everything.

She called Pepper for help because "I don't know how to help my own damn Spider-baby, and Tony did."

And when a private ambulance shows up, and their neighbors watch and gasp as they see that absolute Angel of a child pale being rolled away and May crying while walking behind them, they don't know what to do.

...

6:00 PM.

Ned and Michelle walk to Peter's house because they didn't see him after their free period.

And they see him.

Michelle runs, and Ned clutches his chest. Everythings closing in.

MJ grabs his hand and brings him back to Earth.

They go with May to the Avengers Compound.


	3. Falls

"Peter why would you do this?"

"Peter, we love you."

"Don't leave us, Petey."

"Hey, Kid."

"Come back to us."

Peter could hear everything around him. He was falling. Words, echoing around him. He was falling. Falling deeper and deeper into the pit. He couldn't climb back out, for the walls were too deep. Gasping and clutching his chest. He knew he shouldn't have, but he did.

Now, who's going to make sure May doesn't go down the same path as him? He might as well killed everyone that cared about him too.

And MJ and Ned... he should've told them. But it's far too late. Far, far too late. Maybe he can wake from this medically induced coma and open up more. But then Ms. Pepper is going to blame herself, too...

And Morgan! How could he forget about his favorite sister. Morgan was there when they were both missing Tony so much it started to hurt.

Peter is falling. Falling hard and fast. The Angel's wings were taken from him. Everyone is worrying. He's always been stuck in his head, but now that his wings are gone- his hope, his pride, and the one person he would give anything for- who is he living for? Because it was hard enough when his parents died. He didn't know who would be proud of him then. Then Ben was, and he left too. May couldn't always be there for him, so she didn't know half the things he's accomplished. But Tony did. Mr. Stark was there at every science convention, every award, and ice cream after. 

Of course, he didn't say he was proud. But he showed it. And the tree remembers. He remembers being watered and cared for and helped when he was sad.

But Tony is gone now. And he finally tried living for himself- but that's impossible. How could he ever be proud of himself- such a fuck up, that he got 3 different fathers killed. 

And he'll get to see him soon enough.

////////////////

Hey Aunt May.

I love you more than you know. You were there since before my parents died, and helped me get through that. When Ben died, we were there for each other. You could've kicked me out, gotten abusive, and drank alcohol all the time. But you didn't. You stayed strong for me. And I will never be more thankful.

But I don't love me. And that's the thing. I have nightmares about Beck. I know you're awake when I wake from those dreams. I have nightmares about when Tony died. I have nightmares about when I was in the Soul World. I was in so much pain. You've probably noticed the number of pills we have, and by the time you get home, you'll see the number of bottles I had to use to get rid of Beck in my mind constantly. I think you know I've been smoking Marijuana and drinking alcohol a lot. I want to apologize.

I'm very sorry about drinking. I'm sorry for smoking. I'm sorry for being a burden to you, even if you don't think so.

I larb you.

Pete.

////////////////

Ned, my bro.

I know I don't say it- but I love you man. You're the best friend I could ever ask for. I know I haven't been an okay brother or best friend, but you have been. And I couldn't thank you more. I know that you know about the nightmares. You always fake being asleep. That night I stayed over you were awake, and you were worried. Your heart rate was so fast when you heard me crying. I'm sorry for ever worrying you.

I guess we really can't fix that Death Star.

I told Karen all about you guys. About May, and MJ and you. I asked if I died, who she would want to go to. She obviously said she would never let me die, but if she had to choose, she wanted to go to you. So. You can have Kare-Bear.

Love you, man. And I'm sorry for this.

Pete.

////////////////

Emmie, MJ, Michelle, the badass of the century.

Thanks for being there for me. You helped me through panic attacks at the school, and stood up to Flash when he poked the wrong wounds. Thank you for being my friend. You've always been a badass, but when you told off that one cop for police brutality to black people and got a bit famous for it, and I introduced you to Pepper- that's when I realized I'd stick around for a lot longer than the day I wanted to die. A few weeks after I came back from the soul world, from when we came back, and Tony died- you found me in the library crying. And you calmed me down. So thank you. You saved me for a bit longer. I love you, and I love Ned and May. Please, please make sure they're okay when I die. Because I know you won't break like they will. I'm hoping you'll miss me, but those two? They'd die inside and probably try to follow me.

You have your whole life ahead of you. Make sure it's full of love and protests and changing history.

Pete.

////////////////

Even though they were in separate rooms, they were all crying. Peter couldn't be saved, and the doctors at the Compound are taking him off of Life Support. There were tears all over their letters. 

Pepper told the rest of the Avengers that they were going to lose Spiderman and revealed his identity.

They all felt bad for the child, especially Bruce Banner. He met him during his time with Tony. He corrected his equation and fanboyed and they grew close...

Not close enough.

////////////////

Hey Morguna.

Peter said, on the hologram.

I won't be seeing you for a while.

And I know you'll be sad about this when you're older, and when you understand what I did-

But I did it because I love you, and Pepper, and May, Ned, MJ, and the whole world.

And because I love Dad. And I found a way to bring him back. I did this, so you could be with Dad longer.

Pepper quietly gasped, and the reformed Avengers' eyes were wide.

And because people miss Natasha. And Gamora- even though we only saw her in battle. 

I love you so much, little miss. You're going to rule the world when you're older. And I wish I could be there to see that, I really do-

Peter inhales deeply, and breathes out shakily, trying not to cry during this recording. 

But I can't. You'll see me when you're older, sis. And I know it's Dad's thing, but

It seemed like he looked directly at everyone- in their eyes.

I love you 3000. Hope you don't get mad at me for saying that.

He chuckled with watery eyes and walked away.


	4. Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yall are gonna hate me for this

The oranges sky and orange sand had no stars. None- whatsoever. If it had, Tony would be counting them. Tony had been bored. He could think up thousands of ways to get back to Earth. He could take Natasha and Gamora with him.

Hell, he just wanted to go home. At first, all he felt was unbearable pain. When he snapped, all he could think of was Peter, Pepper, and Morgan. Screw the rest of the world- Peter had to meet his sister.

So to refine from being bored, he explored. He thought up memories- thousands of memories with his little spider and only daughter- hoping they would meet one day. Daily memos, daily logs. It doesn't help.

||||||||||||||||||||

"Day 3 in the soul world. I miss you Pep. Hope you introduced the spider kid to Morguna."

||||||||||||||||||||

"Day 26 in the soul world. We don't need to eat, but it makes us feel better. Found a water spout, clean and not orange like the rest of the fucking world."

||||||||||||||||||||

"Day 70 in the soul world? Gamora had a breakdown. Thanos and his army- they're here. They've accepted that they can't come back and Thanos- fuck- Thanos apologized. We- we didn't know how to react. We accepted it no matter the issue."

||||||||||||||||||||

"Day- how many days has it been, Nat?"

"216, Tones."

"Right. Day 216 in the soul realm. Things have been getting weird- it's clearer than usual. So clear, you can almost see stars- which is weird because we've never been able to see past the sun on the horizon in all fuckin' directions."

"Stark. Who is that?"

"What? Gamora, don't make me nuts, what're you talking about?"

"That figure..."

They could see it in the distance. Confused, they looked towards it. A star.

Peter.

||||||||||||||||||||

peter pov

After killing myself, he knew there was no chance of him going home. But if it meant he could see Tony one more time, then fuck it. 

His mind is broken. A nebula in his soul. In his head and his heart. So thin and spread out that he can barely feel it anymore. 

Gasp.

He can breathe?

The sun comes from any direction. The orange fades into a thin line of yellow, with the rest of the world as a red-ish purple. 

Glass.

So beautiful, the barely-there stars, that make it look like a mosaic. Turning in one direction...

Peter walks. And he walks. And he encounters many on his way.

Aliens that he found how to kill.

Thanos which he left after a clue.

He felt thousands of people- things but in their own way, people- all over his body.

He tries not to panic when his senses are still crazy.

Hearing a recognizable historical laugh, he turns in circles. 

It's like the center of the world- silent, except in all directions.

Terrifying.

He's scared. And he wished that he wasn't. And he wishes so much.

But he has to wait.

So he walks.

And sure his mind still tortures him-

but he walks.

In circles on a planet he doesn't know-

In circles.

Until he hears a new voice.

"Day- how many days has it been, Nat?"

And he knows.

The voices in his head- of Ben, and Beck,

and Tony.

Oh my God, Tony is here, and he can see Tony and he's spiraling instead of walking towards them-

So he sprints.

He sprints and he runs so hard, he can almost feel the phantom pain of running, as if he were alive.

"Tony!"

Crash.

A small chuckle, sad but there.

"Kid? What- what're you doing here? I thought I saved you? Oh, you're not my kid. You're an older, grizzlier version of my kid."

He just smiles. He smiles, knowing he's not going back too.

"Pete? What's that smile for bud?"

Stars are always different when you're about to die. It's something that people say.

Stars are beautiful and so far away, you can just breathe in the beauty of colors, and stars, and he feels like he's dying all over again...

He just needed to touch him. And Tony would be back at home in his almost rotting corpse- well, not really a corpse anymore- and Morgan will have her dad back.

He turns to Nat, tears streaming down his face. "Hey, Aunt Nat. Let me get one more hug from you, yeah?"

And Natasha knows what he's doing so she tries to run, but she forgets-

He's a Spider Kid.

He's their Spider Kid.

He catches her.

"I love you, мама паук. Can you tell Dad I love him too?"

"Oh, my baby, of cou-"

She turned to sand, too.

And Gamora.

Gamora never got to meet the Spider that everyone loved.

But she wasn't going to leave him alone in this world.

"No. You will not."

"I don't need to hug you. "

He brushes his hand against hers.

"All I really need to do is this."

She turns to dust too.

And now Peter is alone again.

Not just in his head,

But in the soul world too.

Stars are always different when you're about to die.

And as he gripped the soul stone in his hand, making it crack bit by bit,

Feeling the power growl and follow his arm.

The Stars looked different.

He felt the phantom pain,

It was a lot like feeling a knife cut through his arm when being tortured

Or when he slit his own wrists with a blade that Loki had gifted him.

The power was incredible. And it hurt.

Stars always look different when you're about to die.

And when he crushed that cursed stone in his hand, the power created a burst of wind- sand of the landscape, just blowing everywhere.

Power loomed in the air, above his head... it loomed on his body, in his hair, on his mind.

And it hurt every fiber of his body.

So when he crushed that stone in his hand...

The stars looked different.


End file.
